Mike Mangini Still Not Revealed As New Dream Theater Drummer

In what has become one of the worst kept secrets since Clay Aiken came out of the closet, Dream Theater continues to withhold the name of their new drummer (Mike Mangini?), who was chosen to fill the empty drum throne left when Mike Portnoy departed the celebrated progressive metal band last year.

To ensure that the final release of the new drummer’s name (Mike Mangini?) will be as anticlimactic as possible, Dream Theater has announced that this Thrusday, April 21, at 11:00 friggin’ A.M. (Atlantic time? Pacific time?) they will still not reveal the new drummer’s name (Mike Mangini?), but instead will allow interested parties to sign the band’s mailing list on its facebook page in order to “receive more details about an exclusive and intimate look at the auditions, and to find out exactly when and how the momentous announcement about the band’s new lineup will be made.”

New lineup? You mean new drummer? Does anyone doubt it’s Mike Mangini? Anybody at all? Hello?